I was a person guided by one mantra- life becomes simple if you are at the top of something. Your parents don’t question what you need something for, teachers overlook the mischievous things you do, and your friends respect you for being the understanding bookworm you are. Everything was laid out easy for me as long as I followed the books. It wasn’t easy when I left my very posh metropolitan home for an IIT I never expected to go to.
And this will always be one of the finest difficulties I will ever choose for myself.
In my second semester, I ruined my maths midsem. I was extremely inconsolable. After stifling laughs at my reaction, my friends stayed by my side, giving me unlimited chapos throughout the day. Once I was happily dissing the subject, they sat across me and asked, “Why are you taking acads this seriously? Is this what you want to pursue?” This was when I noticed everybody around me knew exactly what they wanted to do. And though I tried different things- from machine learning to standup to finance- I couldn’t find anything I felt would stay with me. I entered this campus being an expert in what I did; halfway through it, I had sweated on lots of stuff and was still clueless. To top it all, COVID happened. My parents remained unsatisfied with my grades and my natural-campus-life nocturnal lifestyle. I became conscious of being overweight. I fought with people who I thought would stay. Filled with self-doubt and insecurity, I drifted apart from friends I valued the most, left to grapple with everything by myself for a long time.
And yet, if you ask me what my campus life has been like, I will tell you about my first-year thomso when my favorite people across branches partied together. The late-night talks with friends that formed the base of our current relationships. About the day when my boyfriend proposed. About the placements, when my branch stayed up for days so that some of us could get even an hour’s sleep. About a branch that accepted me as one of their own (CSE ‘22, you have my <3). About the dedication we showed while preparing for the freshers and the chapos I received. About the many birthdays, Diwalis, and New years I celebrated at this place. And about multiple expeditions to Rishikesh and Mussoorie, each creating immemorable memories. Roorkee, you are the home I chose for myself.
You taught me that being imperfect in the things you choose is better than being perfect within the boundaries set by others. Amongst people with boundless passion for whatever they do, you continue to inspire me in unimaginable ways. I am a person who attaches a lot of value to small things. And you taught me how happiness comes easy from the little pleasures I find in here. Roorkee, you made me realize what self-love actually means. Because of you, I know I have all the fight I need. And I know that I have people worth fighting for.
Speaking of people, This memoir and my journey would have been incomplete without the people in it. Even if I want to, I cannot emphasize enough how this campus has always given me the right person at the right time, and no memoir would be sufficient to describe them all. I found a childish person to retell stories with for years to come, and who will always challenge me to become the best version of me. A brother who looks out for me like family and vibes with me, no matter how “chhapri” anything is. Friends who sail me through mundane days with anything ranging from movies on projectors to late-night jamming sessions. A person who has had my back during most part of lockdown and mature enough to have intellectual conversations with. And somebody who is as lazy as me (lazy enough to almost leave this memoir without a photo of us), but has never faltered to show support in even the dumbest things I could do.
On 19th of May, I had dinner with my dad. After he left for his hotel, I went on to see my friends. We went on to revisit terraces. We sat for long stretches listening to music. We dissed each other. We laughed. It wasn’t until I reached KB on my last night that the realization hit me. And just when we were outside the gate, we hugged and cried. Our last days on campus had been as busy as anything could get. We waved goodbye to multiple friends. Parents coming to pick us took us out to many lunches. We organized a last trip. I had one last date. But nothing spoke of finality as much as the teary hug outside KB. And I knew I could never really leave you.
Being amongst a batch that spend a year of college at home, we didn’t get as much time at this wonderful place. But we have enough moments to remember this place by. So, for the batches still in campus, live every second of it :P. (And make this convo the best one pls pls pls). I wish I had more words to tell you what this campus actually means, but nothing would ever be enough. I cannot give you any advice you would not have already heard. Just let this place be the craziest cliche you would ever have.
Roorkee, This is not a goodbye. There could never be one.
For I leave a part of me with you and take a part of you with me.
