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Intrusive Thoughts I Have as a Bisexual

June 27, 2022

Being queer isn’t all rainbows and colours like the corporates show you (who could have thought?). Being queer involves being in a constant struggle with the people around you and also with yourself. In a world where you don’t seem to belong, you are likely to doubt if you are good enough to belong in it in the first place. This constant struggle often manifests itself in the form of self-doubt, underconfidence and insecurity.

Bisexuality is attraction towards people of more than one gender. There are a lot of harmful stereotypes aimed at bisexual people inside and outside the queer community. This adds to the prejudice they face from other people and their own insecurities.

Here are some intrusive thoughts I think as a bisexual

  1. Do people see me with my boyfriend and think that I’m straight? Does having a boyfriend make me straight? (It does not)
  2. Do people see me exist and think I’m straight? How do you assume my sexuality when I never told you?
  3. Is it a privilege that people think I’m straight? But you’ll never really know the real me if I’m straight in your head.
  4. Is the queer community right when they say I’m not queer enough? How do I become ‘queer enough’ for you?
  5. Am I more bisexual because I kissed a girl once? If I didn’t, would I not be bi?
  6. Do people know that being bisexual means you’re attracted to two or more genders? It doesn’t just mean I’m attracted exclusively to men and women.
  7. Do I have to defend my sexuality when people assume I’m straight? Do I have to defend my sexuality to myself because I tried so hard to be completely gay just so I could get into the cool queer kids club?
  8. Do I seem straight? Even to the people I’m out to? Is this an insult or a compliment?
  9. Am I overreacting when I tell people my first kiss was with a guy when it really wasn’t just cause I’m scared they’re homophobic and I can’t safely be publicly out? (Wish I could just tell the truth)
  10. Is it ok that a random guy asked me about my sexual orientation 2 hours after I met him? Am I making a fuss over nothing?
  11. Do I have to kiss/sleep with guys and girls to prove I’m bi? How does this even work? But, I’m attracted to more than 2 genders. This proves absolutely nothing. How do I stop invalidating myself and the fact that I’m bisexual regardless of my sexual experiences?
  12. Am I really, actually queer? Does the B in LGBTQ+ really deserve to be there? Do I deserve to be here when I’m also attracted to people of the opposite sex?

I’m not straight. I’m not gay. I’m bisexual.